Yes, I admit to being in an addictive love affair with sudoku. I tried to stop, telling myself "Not today, girl. It takes up too much of your time. Gotta work on that project you have due in two weeks". But, I couldn't stay away. I looked longingly upon my cherished puzzle book. It's pages dog-earred and smudged, holding bits of eraser sheddings in their binding.
I couldn't ignore it and opened to my latest puzzle. I spent a precious 40 minutes working through it. Time I needed to spend on other tasks. But, it's been like this everyday since receiving that spellbinding puzzle book in November. "Why, oh why can't I stop?"
I'm not entirely sure, but I do have some thoughts. There's the deep and individual part of this that Doc made me think about on his blog. But, I'll save that for another day. All the reasons why I stop myself from creating what I desire will take a little more therapy and way more space than this one blog can handle. So, back to sudoku.
Here are the reasons for my love of the game:
1. Order - in this seemingly chaotic world (yes I know the Universe is orderly and what we percieve as the chaos and randomness of nature is the system functioning perfectly) it is nice to only have to focus on the numbers 1 through 9 and figure out where they go. I don't have to solve the seemingly unsolveable puzzle of how to afford the education my daughter deserves and desires. I just have to put the numbers 1 - 9 in the right order on a 9 x9 grid.
2. Predictability - It is guaranteed that I can get to the answer if I go one step at a time. I know going into to it that every puzzle is solveable. This is so unlike my Life which I have been unable to sort out for lo' these many years. Not that I have that much to complain about, I just can't predict that happy ending at the far side of the rainbow. That I still desire it may show an incredible lack of maturity on my part, but hey, I am who I am. Like I said, I can predict a happy (at least a satisfied) ending with each sudoku puzzle.
3. Logic and Reason - I live, for the most part in a world of emotion. I think, more than most folk I come in contact with, that I have a keen awareness of emotions (mine and theirs). It probably has to do with growing up in a household of functioning alcoholic parents who could scare the crap out of me with their rages against one another. That they Loved me (and I them) is one of the things I know for sure, but baby, they messed up my head too. Still trying to unwind it all. So, sudoku brings me to a space where only my logic and reason can help me. Guessing, intuiting, feeling my way through it can lead to mistakes/errors which may require that I start again. Sudoku is where my analytical side can shine and be appreciated (by me) all on its own.
4. Clarity - I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that there is one right answer. Not your answer or my answer. Not I Love you, but not in that way; or I Love you, but I'm not ready for a relationship; or I'm not sure how I feel, I mean, I think I Love you. None of that bullsh**. Not shades of grey or the lesser of 50 evils, but ONE RIGHT ANSWER! I say thank ya!
So, there you have it. The reasons why I sudoku everyday. What do you do to counter balance the craziness in your world?
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